"History isn't something you look back at and say it was inevitable, it happens because people make decisions that are sometimes very impulsive and of the moment, but those moments are cumulative realities." -Marsha P. Johnson
not to give pirates of the caribbean too much credit but it really is the only major franchise Ive seen that was able to pull off the “historical and mythical exist at the same time” with any sort of success
Building on this its so funny how everyone has a globe but the moment the pirates hit the seas they sail off of the end of the (flat) world. its all in the details etc etc
Hey um what. What goddamn business did Omashu have having a King?? Like I never really questioned it since it came from such an early Book One still-world-building episode but. Omashu is a city, for starters, and it’s a city in the Earth Kingdom. Which. You know. HAS a king.
You know I bet, honestly, Omashu doesn’t have a king. And NEVER had a king. Omashu had a succession of Governors or some shit and on the day that Bumi took the mantle he said “Fuck this ‘Governor Bumi’ stuff that’s lame. Call me King.” and when his advisors said they can’t legally do that Bumi passed a law changing his title from Governor to King, stuck a crown on his head, and called it macaroni.
And the citizens of Omashu were probably just like “alright” cuz like. Bumi strikes me as the kind of Local Town Eccentric who has a working personal relationship with pretty much everyone so all 100,000 people of Omashu heard this decree of Kingship and went “yeah that tracks” and got on with their day.
Outside of Omashu though? Good god. That’s gotta be a fucking look. At this point 112-year-old Bumi has been ‘King’ for a lifetime longer than the actual Earth King. What a look. How much sleep do you think Long Feng loses about this??? How many assassination attempts do you think he tried to carry out, only to have the Dai Lee come crawling home with the imprint of Bumi’s face smashed into their armor and some rock candy stuffed into their socks?
Ba Sing Se adores its appearance of order and structure and hierarchy and I cannot even begin to imagine their Daily Hell of dealing with Omashu’s centenarian feast-loving candy-munching batshit unhinged and utterly unkillable pseudo-King.
The Fire Nation taking over Omashu was probably the happiest goddamn day of Long Feng’s life.
I think one of the reasons drag kings aren’t as popular as drag queens, aside from the fact that straight women don’t like us, is that people are uncomfortable acknowledging masculinity as a performance. Like we as a society know that femininity is a performance, with its own costumes and rules. Masculinity is also a performance, and nothing makes that more clear than someone making an exaggeration of it
Interesting to call this “confiscating” when it’s just making the rich pay their fair share, especially considering all the stolen wealth from the bottom 99% and historic tax evasion.
More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with “$40” written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with “$40” written on it. She says “well it’s a gift card.” I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here
It’s been a hot second since the last time I cried tears of true rage but damn if I didn’t come close today
My coworkers were like wow how are you still in a good mood after that my brother in christ after that interaction I went to the break room and took an extra adderall
If your wife cheats on you, the resulting bastard is not in line to inherit your throne. Unless the guy she cheated on you with was Zeus. Then the resulting bastard is in line for the throne because technically his blood is more special than yours now and Zeus is technically the distant ancestor of most Greek kings anyways and he likes to insert himself back into the family line every few generations or so.
So anyways that’s why your wife has been in labor for three days now and the baby isn’t coming out no matter what anyone does. You know how Hera gets.
Sir you know how you left the Zeus baby out on a hill to die? Well. Athena is here. With the baby. Yeah, that one. Yes, the goddess. No I won’t tell her that you’re busy are you insane
JOHN GREEN HAS ANNOUNCED HE IS BUILDING A TEMPLE TO COCK
you guys are evil as fuck lol. this video announces the building of a new maternity ward in Sierra Leone. he & hank have spent years fundraising, campaigning, and donating for this cause, and it’s going to save tens of thousands of women’s and children’s lives.
if your reaction to this is to use the opportunity to contribute to a years-old, stale “joke,” consider that instead of contributing to harass the man, you could try doing something good for the world.
HES BUILDING A TEMPLE TO COCK
gripping analysis of the insidious evils of cock jokes by tumblr user petedavidsonscock